On Jumping

What’s the deal with jumping?

I’m a good jumper. Seriously, I have photographic evidence. For a stocky, only slightly taller than average dude, I can jump. But, it feels like jumping can be so complicated.

The Pointer Sisters want you to jump for their love.

You need to jump for joy.

When some people tell you to jump, you can only ask “How high?”

You can jump for sport, be it broad, long, high, or triple.

Apparently some guy named Jack flashed you while he jumped.

Originally, Superman couldn’t fly; he just jumped long distances. Seriously, look it up.

Dead cars really need a jump.

Jumping is really the only thing you can do productive in a potato sack.

If you jump, you then have the right to jive.

Trampolines exist only to be jumped on.

Hurdles exist only to be jumped over.

Rings of fire exist only to be jumped through. By sad circus animals.

If you get more than one guy named Jack to jump, you are now exercising.

For a thrill, add a bungee to your jump.

Diving is just fancy jumping into water.

Some newlyweds jump a broom.

Some crazies jump out of planes when they don’t have to.

You can jump with a rope.

Ski jumpers wear cool goggles, helmets, and onesies.

Line jumping, however, is not a sport at most theme parks.

If you want to begin immediately, you need a jump start.

Join in and jump on a band wagon.

Old cops pretend to be young on #21 Jump Street.

Bad television shows jump sharks.

Bela Karolyi holds you in his arms when your jump goes badly.

Basketball players jump for jump balls, take jump shots, and come to jump stops.

Seriously, it’s exhausting. For the rest of the day, we can all take it easy. Just don’t forget to look before you leap.

One thought on “On Jumping

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